oh where oh where are thou?

oh you're silly. the reason I'm not blogging is cause I'm VLOGGING at http://www.youtube.com/gaygod

I also uploaded a very important video there, and need your help to donate $20,000 effortlessly!

YOU DONT EVEN PAY A CENT! JUST A FEW SECONDS OF YOUR TIME!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDg7SlhhQCI

This is what we all need to do:

1. Go to http://www.socialvibe.com/vitaminangels
2. Do all the brand engagements on the page, each one done is a donation to the charity.
3. Sign up for Socialvibe.
4. Select Vitamin Angels as your cause.
5. Spread the word to your friends, and share the engagements.

Socialvibe GIVEAPALOOZA:
1st place gets $15,000 donated to their charity.
2nd place gets $10,000 donated to their charity.
3rd place gets $5,000 donated to their charity.

All charities to reach the $2,500 goal get $2,500 from Socialvibe, leaving them with $5,000 for their charity!!!


and please repost this if you can!!!

You need to do the 6 activities on the page, then sign up/log in and you can select Vitamin Angels as your cause and do 20 more. You can also do them daily I believe!!! Come on and get active!!!

xoxo Matthew

RAWRRRRRR

NEW LAYOUT TIME!!! I have a big photoshoot tomorrow with Derek. Our friend Liz is shooting some amazing photos of us, and I plan on changing my myspace up a bit! I also need updated pictures with my new hair =P (well not so new anymore I guess...lol) but anywho Derek and I made a "goth Christmas" scene for the shoot:






I designed the stockings on the black web thing with the white spider web >_> It's fierce. Plus had to work without a fireplace, but I think it suits perfectly. The tree is white wrapped with pink lights! It also has black, purple, silver, skull, and nightmare before christmas ornaments! My favorite part of the whole tree is the star! Of course its not like one you've ever seen before since its a spider hanging down from a web from the ceiling onto the top of the tree. Of course after the photoshoot there should be a ton of better photos of it!


I'll keep you all posted!

xoxo Matthew

Poem?

Read this little poem, I love it. No, I didn't write it


If i dont call you

[ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]

When i walk away from you mad

[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth

[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you

[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i call you and say i cant sleep

[stay on the phone till i go to sleep]

When i start cussing at you

[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]

When im quiet

[ Ask me whats wrong ]

When i ignore you

[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away

[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst

[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying

[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]

When you see me walking

[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]

When im scared

[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder

[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i grab at your hands

[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i tease you

[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time

[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt

[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i love you

[ I really do more than you could understand ]

When i bump into you

[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret

[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes

[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you

[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart

[ the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over

[ i still want you to be mine ]

Well hello there!

So last night while watching the New Moon red carpet premiere on Myspace, I missed the Jay Leno interview with him >_< but it's whatevs cause I saw him and his adorable voice talk =D



Yea single life is getting better and better by the second! I can finally just live in a fantasy world for a little bit and not have to worry about relationship drama.

But theres still one drama...MOVING! OMG like seriously I move in like 12 days and I'm so not going to be able to go to California. I simply cannot get all my stuff there >_> It's too pricey, and because of the economy there's no money to borrow from anyone. I seriously need a sugar daddy! LOL I just thought of my friend Wade...idk why. Most of you know him from the Stickam chatroom. Which has been going well since I get to add them to my bulletins and websites and it creates a ton of lurkers!

Check this out!!!



YEAYA b!tches back on top!

Most viewed yesterday...this week...this month...all thanks to you!

I'm making a new video with Derek tomorrow hopefully since he has the day off. New YouTube video is long overdue. I was banging them out back to back that one month, now I've been so stressed over everything that's happening.

Plus I talked to my friend Joe Brooks, as well as others, and we agreed to not release my Last Forever song. It's just not good. I producted it myself... my friend made the beats... and well it's just so rough. When I move back to Cali I will be working non stop and saving up some money to get a good producer to do songs I know you'll love! Either that or find a financial backing or someone to loan me. (Yet again being held back by money. It really does make the world go round!)Sorry again for delays in music. I promise you the produced songs will make you want to get up and dance!!! Plus, who wants to hear a lousy breakup song anyway!?! hahaha.

I can't wait till I'm back in California getting a tan and bleaching my hair to blond. It's been so long, and I'm just soooooooooo excited!!! I hope everything works out!!! Thank you everyone for all your support!

xoxo Matthew

The hardest part of breaking up...

...is getting back your stuff. lol I added the song to my Myspace. idk If I'll ever get to see my new gps, my Versace sunglasses, or my old iPhone ever again.

Oh well, moving on!!! California in three weeks!!! But is it happening!?!? Seems like everything right now is going oh so wrong. Cards just aren't being put into place. But hopefully everything will come together. I have faith that my friends will help me, and things will run somewhat smoothly. ::crosses fingers::



I dyed my hair. It's like light brown / dark blond. Have to start transitioning to lighter ;) So it can be kinda like this next year:



NO H8, LOVE IS GONNA SAVE US necklaces and YOU SMOKING IS GIVING US BOTH CANCER shirts are back on sale. I had a bunch of complaints when they sold out, so grab it now before it does again. With the move and all idk if I can restock after they go out...lol. Just being honest O_O head over to http://matthewlush.bigcartel.com to get some now!

Umm so I need to start blogging more, Yeliz you need to nag me about it. IDC if I'm not in the mood, motivate me to move foward. That's what friends are for! We cannot simply dwell on the past.

I have a new song called "Last Forever" which was suppose to be out by now, but I keep trying to record it over and over to sound better. Once it's edited it'll be at http://www.myspace.com/matthewlush ...add it if you haven't already! It's a demo and edited by me, but it's better than nothing right? As long as I let my emotions go and have fun with it, that's all that matters to me.

Hope you have a good one!

xoxo Matthew

Depression

It's been a month from my last post, and there's good reason. So much has happened in the past month, idk where to even begin. My life has been so sad and gloomy. I've come to realize I'm not happy here, and in December I will be moving back to southern California. No, Connor will not be coming. You put two and two together. I honestly don't see how this is going to work. It makes me so upset to talk about it, but honestly I'm just so lonely. I barely know anyone here, and I'm not even motivated to meet new people here. In my mind I already know where I want to be, and it does not involve being couped up in an apartment for another year feeling invisible. I haven't really been motivated to do anything lately. It seems like this whole year is just a waste. Like I could of actually done something important. Instead I just wasted away and told myself over and over that everything was going to be AOK. It finally hit me after our one year anniversary. He didn't get me not one thing. Like I understand some people aren't hopeless romantic, but what a low blow to not even write a nice letter or do something cute. It's not even about presents or money, its about showing a person how much you care about them. I can't go on living this lie. Our differences, our immaturity, and our stubbornness drive each other away. Honestly Connor is a good kid and he deserves to be happy, but it's my fault this relationship had to come to an end. My selfishness wants me to be happy, and I'd much rather be single surround by my real friends then be fully dependent on one person to make me feel loved. I bet I could count the times me and Connor actually did something (other than sit in my apt, watch movies, get food, and eat) on my hands. I'm bored here, I'm bored in my relationship, I'm bored period. I feel as if I'm barely living. The last thing I did remember-able here was with Yeliz in August when we went to a art museum. She took a bus all the way to Montana and stayed with me a week cause I was just so blah. Not to mention there are no beaches here, I barely even saw sun this summer! I visited California for my 21st bday, and that's been my favorite part of this year. Idk I'm just rambling, and most of you probably hate me by now, but idk what to say. I'm sorry if you think I'm perfect. I'm so far from it. I have so many problems, I've been hurt so many times, I've hurt so many people because I was hurting deep down inside. Sometimes I take my misery out on my friends and family, but I'm really sorry if you guys are reading this. I just don't have many people to talk to. I depend on my friends for happiness. I try not to let clinical depression get me down, but it eats me up sometimes. Smiling only goes so far. I wish I could just go live 24/7 and be able to talk to people all the time and smile, but there's only so much I can say without feeling blue. Certain people think I ignore them, when really I just avoid them subconsciously cause I'm afraid of what they may ask if I let them in to much. These walls I build around my heart not only keep bad things from hurting me, but good things to make me happy.



God I just wish things would be different. I wish people would just realize I'm a normal person too. I'm not famous you know, just popular online. If I'm ever famous, I want it to be for the right reasons. I want to help legalize gay marriage. I want to fight for what I believe in. I want to do good for society. I don't want to settle with not being able to do what I love to do best! I want to motivate people to be positive, be themselves. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell people to do things, then sit back miserable and don't do what I want to do myself. Not sure if you'll understand what I'm talking about, but I want to be happy and be true to myself. I cannot be true here, cause I'm surrounded by loneliness and false hopes. Dreams do come true, but if they happen this way, I'd just rather not do them at all. Dreams should make you feel good inside, motivate you to reach your goal. The thrill is in the chase. If feeling like a ghost in my own relationship will make my dream of finally finding true love and getting married come true, then I want to be single forever. God I'm probably not making any sense. I wish you all could understand me how I understand myself sometimes. I wish you could feel the emptiness I feel. Connor I do love you. I can't tell you enough how much it's true. It's just not how I pictured my life to be. Maybe when we grow up a little, we can try again...but right now I just cannot do this. You have every right to be angry with me. I have failed you and let you down. You deserve much better and you know it. I just hope you don't hate me after this. I still want you in my life, even if we're just friends. You are a big part of my life. Please never forget that. As for everyone else, go write your blogs about me. Talk about how much of a piece of sh!t I am for being a complete failure at happiness. I could care less what you write cause I'm my toughest critic. I wish people would just stop being obsessed with drama for a bit, and realize we all need to come together and help one another. Not bash people and let them down. How is the LGBT community suppose to progress, when we can't even come together! I honestly have more gay male haters than straight homophobic haters. Gay guys just love bringing me up and talking about drama constantly. I'm sorry you hate me so much, but understand we all want equality. To do that we need to come together and make peace. Just think about that next time you go to bash someone in your own community. Don't do something you wouldn't want done to you.



On an even worse note, my uncle's wife died two days ago and yesterday was his birthday. He's not my blood uncle, but a friend of the family who's been there for my mom through thick and thin. He's helped us more than anyone else in our family, and he was one of my only uncles that even came around like a real family does. He would come every holiday with one of his famous pies. His Easter pie even won awards and was published in the newspaper! After my dad went to jail, my mom couldn't afford to buy food and clothes for us. Uncle Lou use to help us and take us shopping, and make sure we were all happy. He told my father he would look after us, and he did just that. He always made sure we had our back to school supplies every year. Honestly I probably wouldn't be popular online if it wasn't for him. No way would my mom be able to afford a computer. He bought our family one when I was 12, and I instantly became hooked. I was on it 24/7 and started blogging on Xanga, learning HTML and graphic design. It's even where I met my first boyfriend. Anyway, Lou and his wife were married 57 years, and were dating for 5 years before that. She was his one and only true love, and he was always happy with her. She was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and has been suffering from it ever since. They said her heart was simply to weak to undergo surgery. Poor Lou has been so devastated, it makes me so sad to think about. I called him earlier to show my respect, and hope that I will see him when I visit New York for the holidays. He sounded so down =[ My mom says he can't sleep or eat =[ =[ =[ I wish I could help him. I don't want him to give up on life. I honestly am scared he won't be around much longer. People at his age simply give up after something like this happens, and it depresses me so much. I cannot imagine being with someone over 60 yrs, then watch them slowly die in immense pain for two years. Slowly becoming more and more immune to the drugs they were giving her. Ugh it reminds me of my grandma who died a few years ago. She was 40 something pounds when she died. I saw her a few days before, and I wish she didn't have to suffer like that. She had a large baseball size tumor on her neck making her lean to the side, and it looked like it completely controlled her. As if she had no control over her own body anymore. Its so sad. I'm going to end this blog cause its starting to bring back bad memories. We shouldn't dwell on the past, but look towards the future.

-Matthew

Wow it's been awhile

Sorry for not posting so much, this month has been so random and crazy. I'm still figuring out where I'm going to be in a couple months.... Plus me and Connors one year was this month... I took a manila envelope and wrote in old fashion writing that we made it a year, and here's to another year! I also added that the letter in the bag will explain all the presents in full details. I burnt the edges of the manila envelope and rolled it up like a scroll. I then put a bow on it and stuck it in a empty bottle:



So there was about a dozen different random presents in the bag, and most were silly but I knew they would make him smile. I put a fire-starter to symbolize us going camping soon. I also added sun bathing lotion to symbolize going to Los Angeles together =] I found this really cute light house statue thing that reminded me of the one at Montauk Point on Long Island I've never been to that I want to go with Connor when we visit my family for the holidays<3 I added a oven mit in hopes of learning to cook together. Connor doesn't really know how to cook, so I hope to teach him the few things I know. Hmm lets see, what else was there... OH a giant foam hammer to "hammer out our problems" and a puzzle to "work together to reach a common goal." Some Tylenol for all the headaches we're going to cause each other, and a grab bag to show that life is full of surprises. There was a couple other things, but I can't remember much right now. The most fond memory of the day is not what I gave Connor, but what I received in return. I will not mention it cause it breaks my heart. So lets just say it was a day to remember.

The reason it's in the bathtub is cause Connor always goes and looks at himself in the bathroom when he first gets here... Why? I have no clue. lol

In case you missed my first show, my Stickam is officially going RETRO with my old days and times. So it's Mondays and Thursdays at 5PM PST.



I give out signs and take calls on my saynow etc etc.

But the chat is open 24/7 at:
http://www.stickam.com/gaygod

My two new necklaces are available at:
http://matthewlush.bigcartel.com




I also redesigned my whole Myspace layout, and now it's all trippy and I love it!

Me and Connor are modeling my two new tees here:



The links to buy them are:

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/WhatsNew/Apparel/Lush-Limits-TShirt-206535.jsp

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/WhatsNew/Apparel/Matthew-Lush-Heart-VNeck-TShirt-206525.jsp

oh would you look at that, small is sold out for LOVE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY LIMITS!

Looks like if you didn't get it in time, they're gone. Sorry <3

everything's limited edition =P

woot woot

have a great day!!!

OH AND I FORGOT

Both my V-Neck and the LOVE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY LIMITS tee is at Mall Of America. It was suppose to be only online, but I guess they're testing it there. The small sold out for the green one in one day. So they're extremely limited obviously.




(click to enlarge the heart to see it's a v-neck)

They should be at HotTopic.com any day now. I'll keep you all updated.

Male Chicks are being blended!

So I posted a new YouTube video about my response to finding out 200 million male chicks get put in a blender every year. HOW MESSED UP IS THAT!?!?

Go watch it now at:

http://www.youtube.com/gaygod




It disgusts me that the industry even flat out agreed that male chicks aren't worth sh!t to them, and that female chicks are more profitable. I want you all to show everyone the video, and check out the disturbing video about it in the description. People need to be aware of what goes on due to the choices they make. Please I urge everyone to eat organic or cage free eggs. =/ It's not as bad as this massacre that's going on.

What is wrong with todays society.



Well I have tons of new videos If you haven't noticed:






You can also watch all these at: http://www.youtube.com/gaygod


Okay so I'm trying to move back to Los Angeles in December when my lease is up.



Only problem is Connor won't be ready to move. I was thinking about staying here for another half year, but I honestly don't think I can. I'm just so bored and this city just isn't me. I'm happy with Connor, but not happy where I live. I think Connor will visit California and start to like it, and middle of next year he can move in with me. If it was meant to be, he'd come be with me. I can't see myself living here anymore. I barely know anyone, and the people I know are always busy. Other than Connor coming here for the weekend, I'm usually very lonely. I feel as if a part of me has died, and I'm just living for one thing. If love is all we need, then why do I want more. Why can't I just be happy and move to nowheresville to be even closer to Connor? Honestly I moved to Minneapolis cause I don't like living far from city life. Connor lives half an hour away, where there's lakes, houses, forest and that's about it. I could see myself living in a suburban house like Desperate Housewives Wisteria Lane, but then I'd have a group of friends around me. Here I have older people who look at me weird cause I'm 5yrs younger than the 2nd youngest person here. She's cute though, she's 26 and from Chicago. She moved here for work I think... Anyway... I just wanted to share how I feel about my life right now, and am hoping I move to Los Angeles. I love you all, and wish you were all here to cheer me up sometimes. Not sure why my blogs don't get any comments anymore, but if you can, please do. Thank you for reading this.

xoxo Matthew

YOUTUBE UPGRADE

I upgraded my YouTube with a whole new look, and it's CUTE. Or at least I like it, what do you think? http://www.youtube.com/gaygod

Also new video about SEX:



Oh and I keep getting asked when I'm going to add back stock of necklaces? I thought I made it clear they're all leavingggggg us! I'm going to come out with two new necklace pre-orders this week featuring the NOH8 necklace. I'll keep you all updated!!! Oh and if you didn't grab a LOVE hoodie they're SOLD OUT FOREVER. Jk I kept number 1 and 69 which is an xs and small. I will be auctioning them on ebay in a month or two. Once the LOVE tee's sell out they will also NOT be coming back. Please stop sending me emails about when I'm getting your size =[ I'm sorry but they're limited edition. (Even marked 1 of 150, 2 of 150, etc etc) so get the last sizes before they're gone at: http://matthewlush.bigcartel.com

Omg so I'm downloading half the music Dhani posts at: http://dhanilicious.blogspot.com/

It's my new favorite blog. And I love him cause I'm now obsessed with Ke$ha <3




She's hot! If only I was straight. lol. My boyfriend won't love this blog >_>

But if you want to hear more of her, check her out on Myspace:
http://profile.myspace.com/keshaishot

Me and Connor need to take a ton more pictures.

So stay tuned for some pictures of the two of usssssss!

I need to go get my coffee on and shake my b00ty to ke$ha

so byeeeeeeeeeeee

No talent just lucky but they stilllll wanna f*ck meeEEH!

So today is mine and Connors 11 month anniversary!!!



Congrats to us!!! The other day me and Yeliz were on a hunt at 4am for flowers (we're bad kids I know) But there's so many wild flowers growing everywhere... I don't think they'd mind =D Plus it was for a good cause... LOVE! I wrote a note explaining that there was a surprise somewhere and hid the flowers in the shower with a note =]




He actually loved it and it made him happy. I love when he's like that!!!

So if you didn't know Yeliz was spending a whole week with me! She took a bus from Montana to Minneapolis (which took 24hrs each way) just to see me <3 We had a Harry Potter Marathon, as well as making butter beer, and also tried to watch a movie in the park. We went to the art museum too and watched sooooooooooo many movies. Way over a dozen. Cause we're crazy! Even watched a lesbian movie for YELEZBIAN FRIDAY!!!



We went to the Jeffree Star concert to show our support and I did someones makeup for the first time. I dolled Yeliz up with Dereks MAC makeup. It started with purple, then silver, then black, then blue, then green. The end outcome was purple with green with some white over it to make it more of a light color. Idk it wasn't a complete epic fail =]





New Hot Topic tee's are coming exclusively online at HotTopic.com!!!

These are more limited than the Matthew Lush Loves Me, so will probably sell out faster! The womans v-neck is a complete test run cause I've never sold a womans fit tee or a v-neck (usually it's unisex) So lets cross our fingers! If these go well I can release a hoodie this winter =] YEAYAAAAA





I also have quite a few new YouTube videos, and will be making tons more! I want to do two every week =] That's my goal!





CLICK the image to watch them, and please comment rate and subscribe if possible <3

You all are my motivation behind these videos! So tell me what you want to see!!!

I just called and woke up Connor and wished him a happy anniversary and he's still sleeping.

I guess I'm going to end this blog, but don't forget I love you all!

xoxo Matthew

Money. Love. Takeover.

Not to bombard you with a bjillion pussy pics, but my cat is so cute! I'm so excited to get it when I go to New York at the end of this month =D!!!

LONG ISLAND REPRESENT. lol jk /overit




As I write this I'm listening to:


It's so weird O_O Adam Corley had it on his blog and I was like oh snap. =P

I asked people to call me at (323)271-0151 with what color they think my hair should be. The blue is fading and I want something new. I think I have an idea but idk if it'll turn out the way I plan =o

oh and I was taken over at 1100ad.com! He took everything from me and I had to start over!!! Me, Jaymi, Yeliz and Rachel have been playing it in our free time to bond together <3

I love bonding, and in case you didn't know, I LOVE RACHEL. =]

I made this the other day if you didnt catch my tweet:



I was bored and experimenting with photoshop. I use to do it in my free time a long time ago as a hobby... just mess around with brushes and fonts and make stupid little things. Idk maybe I'm just weird!

I miss Los Angeles and my real friends more than ever =[

This place is so ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh and I found out Bugatti Veyron's are $1,700,000!!! I've seen so many in LA, If I knew they were worth that much I would of stalked them and cozied up to a sugar daddy like my mom expects of me. lol but I chose the poor path and found true love.



But if you buy me one, I'm all yours. You can do whatever you want to me...

oh god I hope Connors not reading this, but I'm sure he feels the same LOL

Who says money can't buy love? lol joskeeding. I think. idk. moving on.

Random fact: did you know Gisele Bundchen, worlds higest paid model has an identical twin?



Plus she makes over 20 million more a year than ANY other super model.

Now thats hot.

xoxo Matthew

Baking up love.

Connor loves cupcakes/cake so I made some cupcakes and some special ones for him.

Including a star cupcake that is suppose to say "<3 U"
(aka LOVE YOU)



and a mini cake showing that I love him so =D



mmm yummy yummy veganess. I just had to show you all them!

oh and If you haven't seen my tweets (@MatthewLush) my mom came home from her vacation and kicked Corey out of the house. There was used Condoms everywhere, blood on the walls, thousands of dollars of things broken, stolen or knocked over. There was also sticky floors from alcohol, bottles of beer everywhere and the pretty wood floors all scratched up from what looks like people scraping broken bottles into them.

My little brother taught my nephew to say ""leave me alone cunt go f*ck somebody"... so my nephew said it to my sister and boy did he get it. My nephew also tried to kill a bug and said "mother f*cker wont die." My family is pissed at Corey. He needs to grow up, he's 18! I was kicked out of the house right after I turned 17 and graduated early. My mom didn't support me being gay at the time. She just didn't understand anything. As time went on she's learned to love me for who I am. It helped me grow up fast, and become more independant then the rest of my brothers and sister.

Anyway I'll keep you updated on anything that happens, but I hope wherever you are Corey that you're safe and know how upset you made mommy.

xoxo Matthew

The brother I'm embarassed to say I have.

So my mom is enjoying her vacation in Aruba from her timeshare she got years ago when she refinanced the house. This was back when the market was good... She has only used it like three times, and hasn't had a vacation in a couple of years.

My lower than life little brother Corey decides since she's away he can throw a party at her house.

Every little thing in her house has taken working two jobs 6am-4pm then 5pm-midnight. She worked her ass off to support us as kids.

But moving on to Coreys friends who tore open the locked hot tub cover, trashed the house, broke the tiles in her table, knocked the lampost in the front over, and ruined a couple statues. Plus I know what trash his friends are, and I know they stole a ton of sh!t.



Also Corey got the shit beat out of him by his ex girlfriend at warped tour.

He's had that one coming.

Okay I'm done venting.

I just wish my mom had a better life, and didn't have to deal with this.

Why am I so tall?

So my mom and dad are both 5'4 and im 6'0... my mom said it could of been the milkman... but she was kidding. =] I guess I'm just lucky to be tall.

It's weird cause I tower over my friends:



and after seeing that picture I miss my extremely long bangs, and am growing them out again!

Oh girl I'll be fierce when I move back to Cali in December when my lease is up.

Connor might need more time, so I'm kinda puzzled about what to do... but hopefully everything turns out.

I do love him, and will wait forever for him to come to me if I'm in Cali.

I'm also looking for roommates. Since it's cheaper that way!

Love you all so much!

xoxo Matthew


PS- Me and Yeliz are such lesbians.

Happy 10 month anniversary me and Connor!

Come on seriously, who wouldn't want to be with this:



I can't believe all the rumors going around saying we broke up o_o It's like drama that comes out of thin air! I'm here to tell you that we've been together for 10 months now, and have had our ups and downs. But as of right now we are both happy and in love! We haven't fought about anything in awhile. Fighting sometimes brings lovers closer, cause they come to a conclusion to a problem, and realize that they don't know what they'd do without the other person! Now I'm going to write something to make Connor smile:


Dear Connor,

Hey babe! Looks like we made it 10 months and are heading for eternity!!! You make me so very happy and have given me something to wake up to. The simple thought that you are mine fills my heart with joy and makes my blood pump faster <3 Your smile creates everlasting happiness in a boy once lost and confused. Without you I'd fall to pieces and crumble. I love when you snuggle up next to me while we're watching movies, or get that adorable serious face when you're trying to concentrate on a game. I just want to hold you (even though your body does radiate a bjillion degrees) for hours and never let you go. I can't wait till you meet my mom and family in New York. She's going to love you! She knows how much I care about you and how crazy I must of been to move here to be with you. We're all going a little crazy, but I can honestly say it was completely worth it cause now I have you.

If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you

xoxo your Matthew






I also want to thank Rachel for putting me on her cake:


and Matthew Lush underwear is $15 today instead of $25 at matthewlush.bigcartel.com

and everything from MatthewLush.com is on sale and selling quick! Limited time offer to get YOU SMOKING IS GIVING US BOTH CANCER tee in any color of your choice!

Have a great one everyone.

Love you Connor!!!!


PS- SCISSOR AWAY!

More family support!

My older brother Steven got my tee from Hot Topic! So did my mom, but she didn't take a picture yet o_o But I completely understand cause she has much worse things to worry about right now.

So me and Tara are working on new songs for our band Starlight Starbright. I'm very excited about this because when you add the both of us together we get a little crazy. So if we ever go on tour, expect some crazyness and a hell of a good time! Maybe our next songs will take off and we can go on tour. You never know. It could happen.



Oh and since my crazy hair dyeing experience, trust me...it's not over. I honestly just dont like my hair color right now and want to change it. Can anyone guess what it'll be next!?

There's like a week left to my birthday (July 1). If you want to send me a card, my address is on my myspace! And I also have an Amazon wishlist at MatthewLush.com/wishlist

Honestly every couple days that go by I get a new gift from Rachel off my wishlist. I feel like this whole month is my birthday! I'm writing letters to everyone who sends me a gift off Amazon, so her letters going to be pages and pages long. About a dozen sounds about right ;) I keep holding it off cause she keeps spoiling me o_o

I honestly envy whoever she falls in love with. People like her just love to give, and one day I hope to return the favor somehow.

I'm getting more into activism again, and joined the NO H8 campaign:



iSupport is going to get active and help boost NO H8 Campaigns internet presence.

Stay tuned cause it's time to GET ACTIVE!!!!!!